I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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