dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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