I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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