i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
