i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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