Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Oh god it's open bar.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
