The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
