I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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