Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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