How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Randomize
