Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
