Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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