you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
