Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
