I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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