I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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