Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
