I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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