party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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