we're blogging at a bar
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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