don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize