i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hippo gnu deer
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Watching her eat just hurts me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize