i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
please don't ironically join a cult
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