You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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