it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My feet surprised me
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
