I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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