She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
