we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
