Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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