Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The adults are the big ones right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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