Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so let's talk penis.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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