Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
