I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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