Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
