I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
