A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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