Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
