you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
