Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
