she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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