before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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