I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
