The maid of honor just puked.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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