so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
