what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
