Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
