I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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