at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
