just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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