I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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