i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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