I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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