did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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