that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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