i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
