please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
