Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You pole danced in your parka.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
