Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
