she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
