Fuck appropriateness.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
