Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
