...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize