you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
