I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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