Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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