i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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