Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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