my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
