But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
