Duck Duck Cougar?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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